I Got a Tattoo and Became 10 Times Hotter Than I Was Before

I struggle HARDCORE with feeling attractive. For as far back as I can remember I've always felt like I was pretty ugly, and getting bullied as a teen helped these ugly feelings stick. It takes A LOT of work for me to even find myself remotely attractive. I have to dress a specific way or do my hair just right or look at myself from the best angle to think "oh yeah, I'm like...ok", and that's not really a fun way to live.

My friend Sam and I have wanted to get tattoos for a long time now, probably for the last couple of years. She has two decently sized and nice tattoos already. I got a tattoo once before when I was about to turn 19. It's a small little outline of a triangle on my wrist, and no lie I did get it to be sort of daring. Like "Marlee would NEVER do something so crazy and wreckless", but because of how small this triangle is everyone thought it was no big deal and they were right. I get asked a lot what it means and I have to tell people it means nothing. It truly does. We went into New York City for my birthday and I decided to waste money on this little tiny nothing of a tattoo. Sam was there and held my hand the entire time. I wasn't with her when she got her other two tattoos so I truly didn't know what the entire tattooing process was actually like.

A couple of weeks ago Sam messaged me showing me these outlines for tattoos that an artist at a studio she had been to before drew. They were all really pretty and I loved several of them. They were apart of a flash deal where if you were a walk in and wanted one it'd be a good price no matter what. Color, outline, black and white, didn't matter. It'd be affordable and I actually had the money. So the next day we take a trip out to this studio and we get tattoos, another wreckless and crazy thing I decided to do last minute.  But this time my tattoo isn't small and sort of dumb. My tattoo is gorgeous. It's the prettiest thing I've ever seen in my life and it's actually on MY. BODY.

I mean, LOOK AT IT. And look at how HAPPY I am. It's insane to me that this beautiful piece of art is on my ugly body. Knowing I have this beauty with me all the time makes me feel so much better about myself. I haven't felt this confident in an incredibly long time and I'm loving it maybe a little too much. I want to constantly show it off, which is weird for me since I usually love covering up my body. Things may change because of my new best friend, and I'd be totally ok with that.

Before this experience I had always thought about getting tattoos but never had any ideas really stick with me so I never did anything about it. I can definitely see why so many people love them and have them, but I don't see me getting a ton of them. The pain was super bearable and the healing process has weirdly been a breeze, but I don't think I'd ever get a sleeve or anything like that. I'm incredibly happy with my little piece of art and having it makes me feel so insanely special and sappy and lame and do I hate myself? Sure! Well, let's be real. I do sometimes, but doesn't everyone else? I'm thankfully starting to hate myself a little bit less every day. But you have to admit, I am pretty darn hot tattoo or not (but the tattoo makes me, like, 10 times hotter).